Just Another Fool

…who has the nerve to think that his life is interesting enough to blog about.

This is what happens…

July 29, 2009

Sometimes I stay up late and for some reason feel like I have something interesting to say. Most people would just go to sleep at this point, because we all know that no one is really interested in what we have to say at three in the morning. I, however, decided to make a blog. I’m pretty sure this has happened before, and it always followed this pattern:

1. Stay up late.
2. Make blog.
3. Go to sleep.
4. Make two posts over the next few months.
5. Wonder why I made blog and delete it.

Will this time be any different? Dunno.

Does it matter? Nope.

So how about a little content for this post, aye?

I recently got a lovely new watch, which was technically my gift for graduating from High School.

I just finished my sophomore year of college.

I certainly love it, and think it can look quite beautiful close-up. With the aid of the TiltShift Generator, I spiffied them up a bit more:

The shot of the bottom inner workings is quite obviously currently serving as the header of this website.

Anyhow, this is mostly me just rambling… We’ll see if this actually heads anywhere borderline interesting…

Posted in Results of Choice

Weird Shit

August 5, 2009

I haven’t been in exactly the best of moods lately… To give the backstory in brief, a good friend of mine went over to Iraq in February. As a parting gift, I gave him a nice large Moleskine journal to take notes in and such. I accidentally gave him the unlined version, which was just a mistake because Matt couldn’t draw to save his life. Anyhow, I found out last month he was caught in an ambush in early July and wound up with some serious post-traumatic stress disorder, and had been at a mental hospital since.

You may be wondering why I’m just rambling about this to an audience of approximately no one on the internet. I’m getting there.

Matt passed away July 30. He apparently killed himself, although I didn’t ask for details, and at this point I don’t think I’d really want them. I found out on August 1st because the hospital gave me a call, since apparently there was something he wanted me to have. I got this in the mail today:

Sure enough, that’s the moleskine I gave him. The staff I spoke too, I’m not really sure what his position was, said I was very welcome to not have it sent to me, since he wasn’t legally bound to in any way. He warned me that it might be somewhat disturbing because of what was inside.

Matt never spoke a single word since the ambush. Apparently he held on to the journal and attempted to use it to communicate, and the hospital staff tried to work it into his therapy. Through a combination of tones and implications I gathered that I was essentially receiving the journal of a madman. But he wasn’t a madman to me, he was just Matt to me. So I said of course I wanted it.

Matt had never written or drawn in the book prior to going to the hospital, but he had apparently used it for something else before then:

I’m 90% sure that if you count each tally as being a week, this would add up to how long he had been away from home before his hospitalization.

That’s the first page. I obviously edited out my full name and address. But as far as I can tell, this is how the doctors knew that he wanted me to have the notebook. After all, what else could tell them that if he never spoke?

I’ve flipped through the book and there are a looooot of sketches and the like, but best as I can tell, this is the only place that he actually wrote anything in any coherent form. There are a few disturbingly ominous statements like “I SAW HIM” and the ilk, but this was the only example of a fully formed thought I could find anywhere.

Anyhow, I find this a combination of incredibly depressing and interesting, so I’m throwing them up on the interweb in hopes that other people might at least find them interesting as well and some good can come out of this, rather than me just sit here and stew over everything. I’ll be adding pics as I have time.

Posted in Results of Fate

First Page

August 5, 2009

Figured I should throw this up before I go to bed as a sort of idea of what you’re looking at. It looks rather frantically made, to the point that the pencil actually cut through the paper in a few spots. I also swear to god that’s a head wearing a hat, but that doesn’t exactly jive with the rest of the “body.”

Posted in Results of Fate

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Second Page

August 5, 2009

And the second page:

The stick figure isn’t too hard to pick out, but this is the beginning of his obsession on what apparently is trees. You can obviously see the tree there as well as a spider-like bush or something. Any ideas what the thing on the right is other than just a sunburst on the remaining hole in the page?

Also I noticed that all of the lines that were made when the pencil cut through the page he used in his picture. I left a message for the doctor that was treating him, so hopefully I can learn a bit more than I already knew about the notebook and how they used it.

Posted in Results of Fate

Returned Call

August 6, 2009

I’m so tired… I’ve barely slept in the last two days, and when I do I tend to wake up all the time from some bizarre dream that I can never quite remember.

Dr. M (not divulging his full name for obvious reasons) was nice enough to give me a call back earlier today. I should have written this sooner as my memory is far from fresh and the lack of sleep certainly isn’t helping, but we had an interesting conversation nonetheless.

He said that Matt was one of the worst cases of PTSD he had seen in recent history, especially due to the turnaround time from what he called “the trigger event” to the state that Matt was in. Dr. M wasn’t the physician in charge of Matt, but he had worked with him on a few occasions, including upon his arrival to the hospital. Below is my attempt to retrieve our conversation from my memory:

Dr. M: “He looked awful. I mean, it just looked as if the boy hadn’t slept in a week. His medical examination showed that he had no physical reason that would prevent him from speaking, so we attempted to get him to communicate for some time. One of the orderlies mentioned that a blank journal was included in his belongings, so I decided to try to use it as a bit of a conversation starter. I asked him questions like ‘is this yours?,’ ‘what do these marks mean?,’ and the like, but he didn’t respond. All he did was gently raise his hand and hold it out to take the book. He very gently opened it and made a writing motion, so I gave him one of my pencils.”

LR: “And at this point, the book was blank?”

Dr. M: “Yes, barring the silver markings on the spine. The cover had some wear on it, as if it had been hit by a blade at a few points but not really cut through, but it was as new as you could expect any book like that out of Iraq to be.”

LR: “I see, sorry to interrupt.”

Dr. M: “Not at all. He began to draw what looked like an egg. It ended up being the head of the figure or whatever he was drawing, but he spent what seemed like an hour carefully drawing the head and hat of that thing. He paused for a moment and then started furiously scribbling all over the page. He at first seemed to be doing it almost artfully. He would occasionally stop and use his fingers to smudge the lines a bit, and then continue. Whenever any line or smudge intruded on that egg that looked like a head, he would immediately stop and erase the fraction within it before continuing along his way. The intensity with which he scribbled slowly increased until he seemed just incredibly panicked and started tearing through the page with strokes of the pencil. At that point I grabbed the book and tried to tell him to calm down, but when he just continued I pulled the book out of his hand and he just froze, staring at me like I had broken some trance.”

LR: “And you decided to continue using the book even after that?”

Dr. M: “That was Dr. W—-‘s decision. I believe he came back to it since Matt simply shut himself off as far as communication went, and that was the closest we could get to a response out of him.”

I asked him how to get ahold of Dr. W, but now I’m not so sure I want to know more. The more I dig into this, even after just a few days, the more uncertain I am that it’s a good idea. I can barely believe that Matt is gone, and here I am looking into essentially what led him to kill himself. What’s really sticking in my mind is that Dr. M once made a reference to the “rather… unique way in which he passed on.” I don’t want to know what that even means, but my mind is whirling with possibilities.

Posted in Results of Choice

Re: Returned Call

August 6, 2009

I said that I was trying to recall our conversation from memory, but now that I think about it, I’m quite sure those quotes are 100% accurate.

Yeah, they definitely are.

Posted in Results of Choice

The Egg?

August 6, 2009

Dr. M used an egg to describe the hatted figure on the first page’s head a few times.

Page 3.

Meanwhile, I still can’t sleep.

Posted in Results of Fate

What is a Slender Man?

August 7, 2009

Dav Flamrock posted a rather interesting comment, reproduced below (hope you don’t mind Dav):

Hey dude, that looks really familiar and seems to be corresponding with some research I’m doing on the myth of Slender Man. Have you ever heard of him? I have a few other case studies which I can point you to, if you like, which I’m using in my research, but if you wouldn’t mind I’d like to keep an eye on your blog and on Matt’s journal as a possible–nay, probable–source for my research. If you must contact me, the email supplied with this reply should suffice.

Thank you for your time,

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

I have no idea what a “Slender Man” is, but it sounded familiar. I finally got home after a long night out and flipped through the book. Sure enough…

Page 13. And for added fun:

And the back of page 13, as well as page 14:

I’m banking on me not being crazy at the moment, because I’m fairly sure that says “Slender Man.” I need to try to grab some sleep but I guess I’ll try to look into this myth a tad more tomorrow.

I also sent Dr. W an email today. I’m unsure whether or not I’m hoping for a response.

So as not to break the pattern by jumping to page 13…

Page 4. This is the first time that I seriously have no idea what is going on.

Posted in Results of Fate

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August 7, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

The fact that Matt wrote the words “SLENDER MAN” in his notebook–multiple times–is *most* intriguing. In your missive to Dr. W, did you perchance ask him (or her) about these words? You implied in previous posts that he did not speak, so I assume the psychiatric doctors would take every chance to communicate with language rather than drawings. I am most curious to hear what Dr. W had to say.

If possible, could you share Dr. W’s contact information with me? I do have a few inquiries of my own. You may send that address privately to my.name at gmail.

Thank you for your time.

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

August 9, 2009, Logan responds:

Dav,

I’ve done a tad bit of searching on this whole slender man myth but I’m afraid that is all it seems like to me: a myth. It’s definitely a very interesting myth, so I can see why you’d want to research it, but I hope I don’t offend you if you hold any belief in it.

I didn’t ask Dr. W about these words specifically since I wasn’t positive about them, but I asked him about the random words in general. I’m yet to hear back from him, but since it is the weekend, I’ll give it another day or two before trying to give him a call. I’ll share his email with I get the chance to ask him whether or not he’d mind.

-Logan

August 9, 2009, Dav Flamerock responds:

It makes me glad to hear your concern of my feelings. Luckily for us both, I am of the same mind as you–to be sure, if I believed half of the legend behind this myth, I would certainly not be researching it the way I am now ;)

You say there are more words written in the journal? This interests me, but I can wait patiently for future blog posts to see exactly what these words are. I am more interested to hear what Dr. W says about Matt’s writings.

Regards,

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

August 10, 2009, Logan responds:

Dav,

Yes, there are more words, but as I mentioned in the first post regarding the journal, as far as I can tell, there isn’t a single sentence or coherent thought aside from the very first page. I’ll get to them all in due time, so no worries.

-Logan

Something in the Trees

August 7, 2009

I just woke up from a ridiculous dream that I realized I’ve been having repetitively. I don’t remember how it begins but I remember how it ends. I’m standing in some sort of arid region dotted with a few spindly trees. The tree nearest to me looks like it’s on fire, but I can’t really tell since I don’t have my glasses on or contacts in, so I start to move towards it, and only then do I realize how ungodly tired I am. Each step seems like a battle in itself, but as I get closer, I realize that it’s not the tree that’s on fire, there are several things in the trees that are burning.

I hear a voice that is familiar yet unidentifiable say “Now…”

And then I woke up clawing into the air. I turned on my light and even then it took me a few moments to figure out I was in my room at home. I guess Matt’s fixation with trees is starting to gnaw at me.

On the way to my computer to write this something else occurred to me…

I was looking at the first page again, and from how I was holding it realized that the long streaks on the bottom right are from Matt’s hand when Dr. M pulled it out of his hands. It’s kind of unsettling to see the physical result after hearing a story like that.

Posted in Results of the Unknown

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August 7, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

The inclusion of dreams is suddenly quite interesting. How long have you been having this dream? Do you remember anything more about the voice which said “Now?” Have you been much of a dreamer before this recurring dream?

Most importantly, have you seen a tall slender man clad in a suit with a blank face, in real life?

This may be more important than you think. As before, I can be reached at my.name at gmail.

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

August 9, 2009, Logan responds:

I’m not sure how often I’ve been having the dream… A few days maybe? I haven’t had it since I wrote about it though, so I guess this pseudo-journaling thing has at least accomplished one thing. I’ve had plenty of dreams in the past, and even some that have been recurring, so I didn’t think this was particularly out of the ordinary. Also, I’m afraid I can’t tell you anything specific about the voice beyond that it doesn’t belong to someone I know. I guess it sounded like a middle aged man? It’s a bit hard to describe a random voice.

There’s been a pretty good lack of slender men clad in suits with blank faces… No worries on that front.

I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful, but feel free to tell me anything you think might be relevant.

Cheers,

Logan

August 9, 2009, Dublin comments:

Were you carrying a gun in your dream?

August 9, 2009, Logan responds:

Now that you mention it, yeah, I definitely remember that I was. Why do you ask?

August 9, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

Oh good, it is good to know that recurring dreams are not irregular for you. More comforting is the fact that you have not had this dream again since posting this. Hopefully this trend continues.

Surprisingly, the fact that you did not know the voice is a very relevant piece of information. In your original post, you implied that it sounded like someone you knew but could not remember. I cannot say exactly why, but it is much more comforting to know that the voice is not someone you knew.

Dream Well,

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

August 10, 2009, Dublin comments:

I’m thinking that your dream stemmed from page 2 of your notebook, and I’m pretty sure I’m right. Check the trees in the drawing and tell me whether or not you see them too.

What's With the Trees?

August 9, 2009

Page 5.

Still waiting on a response from Dr. W.

Posted in Results of Fate

It's Like Christmas…

August 10, 2009

Only with freaky ass drawings. I decided I might as well do some shooting to catch up to page 13 and 14 that I posted earlier…

Page 6 and the back of page 6. I actually rather like this one in an odd way, plus page 6 (the front only) is the first page to have used pen instead of pencil.

Page 7. Very exciting, I know.

Page 8.

Page 9 and 10. The left vertical lines of the “No”s are lines from the pencil cutting through the page.

Page 11 (and the back of page 10).

Page 12 (and the back of page 11).

Posted in Results of Fate

Response

August 11, 2009

My message to Dr. W:

Dr. W——

I would greatly appreciate it if you would be able to take time to respond to this. My name is Logan R——, and I am a friend of a former patient of yours. His name was Matt S—–, and he recently passed away while in your care. Let me first say I don’t blame you in any way for what happened, I am merely curious as to the details of his stay at ———-, as I received a notebook that he had made extensive use of during his stay there.

I was just wondering if you could shed some light on the notebook and Matt’s behavior in general. The drawings and writings in the notebook can be quite disturbing, especially with a lack of context, so I’m hoping you could maybe clear up at least a little of it.

Thank you for your time,
Logan R——

Dr. W’s Response:

Logan,

My apologies for taking so long to get back to you. I have been far busier than I would have liked to be in the last few days.

I certainly remember Matt, and you have my condolences for his loss. It is very tragic whenever we lose a patient, and Matt is no exception. Given that he was my responsibility, I can’t help but feel that I failed him in one way or another, but that man had more than his fair share of demons to deal with.

The notebook you have received I incorporated into his therapy after several days of him not communicating in any way. I decided that even vague drawings were better than nothing at all, as they would give us a starting point at the very least. When we could occasionally get him to write in it we would do our best to keep him going, but it was often quite a struggle.

From what I was able to gather, your friend Matt was a believer in a myth known as “Slender Man,” and he became obsessed with it. He believed that this Slender Man was responsible for the attack on his squad in Iraq for reasons that I could only guess at. I was somewhat wary of mentioning the Slender Man to Matt during therapy because the majority of the time it would cause him to simply shut down and draw something.

I shared some contact with his former head officer in Iraq and learned that someone had been researching the Slender Man on the base’s computers in the days leading up the attack, so my conclusion is that Matt suffered a mental break of some sort and he fabricated the Slender Man attack as a result of what he had been reading on the internet.

The story that we pieced together from Matt’s limited responses was that, in his mind, the Slender Man attacked his squad while in a town. Three of his squadmates’ bodies were thrown into a nearby tree, while the rest of them, as well as two civilian children, were murdered by the Slender Man as well. At some point the bodies became engulfed in flames. I understand that the story isn’t as clear as you might like, but you have to understand that for someone who can’t talk, establishing continuity is a bit of a challenge. What actually happened according to the military is that they were in the town, and one of the children was carrying a bomb, which she detonated. Matt was the only one to survive the attack, and thus he quickly ended up in my care.

I understand you interest and curiosity into your friends death, but I truly must warn you that very little solace is ever found in a search for answers such as this. The way that Matt died was disturbing enough to create a morbid sort of interest, but digging for information isn’t always the answer. When someone chooses to end their own life, they leave behind a whirlwind of emotions to those close to them, such as yourself, and letting that whirlwind settle is usually the far wiser choice than to give it fuel to continue.

I will answer any more questions that you might have, I only ask that you seriously consider whether or not you really want to know the answers before you ask them.

Regards,
John W——

I am pretty numb… I really have no idea how I feel about this at all.

Posted in Results of Choice

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Thoughts

August 12, 2009

The entire “Slender Man” bit that Dr. W mentioned was weird. I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something. Why did Matt start researching him in the first place? What could Matt have encountered that caused him to suddenly be interested in this?

I am unnerved but have to know more. I’m afraid I have to completely disregard Dr. W’s advice at the moment since I have just come to terms with the fact that there is something occurring here that I do not fully understand:

The tree. My dream. It all makes sense. THERE ARE THREE BODIES IN THE TREE. Consider that the stick figure’s head is simply another stick. Look in the tree. There are three bodies there, and I saw them in my dream before I even knew there was something there. What’s more, I checked the notebook and sure enough, the bodies are hanging off of the tree limbs that were created by the pencil ripping through the previous page.

I once more and having a recurring dream, but can’t remember what it is exactly. I’ve looked through the notebook and nothing reminds me of it. I want to know what the hell is going on in this dream but my desire to know is outweighed by my fear. I’m not seeing myself going to sleep again any time soon…

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Untitled

September 2, 2009

I run.

And that’s all I can do.

I will run and run and run and die.

Perhaps then I will find sanity.

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Note from Joshua

September 23, 2009

AUTHOR: JOSHUA

So after about 20 minutes of guessing, it turns out I DO know my best friend well enough to guess his password.

To give you the story in brief: Logan is gone. I’ve filed a missing person report with the police and… Well, honestly I’m unsure what else I can tell you from a legal standpoint.

Tomorrow is the day that some arbitrary deadline passes, so I’m going to head down to the police station to pick up the notebook. A friend of mine in the force said there’d be no harm in letting me have it, as they had deemed it to be irrelevant to the investigation (although I have my doubts on how much investigating they’re doing). While I’m there I’ll inquire on what information I’m allowed to share.

I’m unsure on how I’ll deliver updates, since I’d feel rather weird about using Logan’s old blog. I’ll post a URL to whatever I happen to decide on though.

Posted in Uncategorized

Accident

September 24, 2009

AUTHOR: JOSHUA

I was driving home on my motorcycle with the notebook and some asshole businessman walked into the road in front of me. I was able to stop, but my bike fell over and I broke my arm. The guy is mainly an asshole since, as I lay there on the ground in pain, he just walked away, and the cops weren’t able to find him. If he’d at least helped then he’d just be an ass.

Oh well. I’ll get pictures of the entire notebook up this weekend once I’m done being sidetracked with my arm. And by sidetracked I mean high on pain pills.

Posted in Results of Fate

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LEAVE IT JOSH.

September 28, 2009

Posted in RESULTS OF THE TREES

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Getting Rid of It

September 30, 2009

AUTHOR: JOSHUA

This is Joshua. The last post was not by me. So it’s safe to assume Logan is at least still alive out there, although he clearly doesn’t seem well.

Logan, if you see this, please call me or contact me in some way. In any way.

As for the notebook… I’m taking his advice and getting rid of it. If you want it, email me your address at moc.liamg|sapxuafj#moc.liamg|sapxuafj. I accept no responsibility for anything that might happen as a result of getting the notebook. If I can’t get this mailed off by tomorrow, I’m destroying it.

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Be Gone from my Life

October 4, 2009

AUTHOR: JOSHUA

The notebook seems to have a magnetic quality to it. I’d be lying if I said I have no urge to look through it, but its past is far too disconcerting and personal for me to delve into it.

I’ve selected who to send the notebook to based on who gave the strongest impression that they know what they’re dealing with and will be able to resist the aforementioned magnetism. They can identify themselves if they’d like, but I won’t share who it is for obvious reasons. If you haven’t heard from me, it isn’t you. I feel like I should say “sorry, it isn’t you,” but I don’t know if an apology is appropriate in this situation.

The book is sealed in an envelope and will disappear from my life on Monday.

-Joshua

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A commenter named "Mr. G" wrote that he was on the same squad as Matt in Iraq. This was a lie, but it received responses from Joshua confirming it as such.

October 4, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

I agree with your analysis Joshua–your connection to the book is far too personal. Hopefully nothing terrible shall befall it on its way to Arkham.

However, the sending off of the notebook pales in comparison compared to the importance of Mr. G’s comment. I would introduce myself to you now, but you may read my introduction elsewhere on this blog. Suffice it to say–your testimony is one of great importance to, well, everything happening here. My research hinges upon it, as well as the mystery of what happened to Matt and now Logan.

Expect an email from me, Mr. G.

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

October 5, 2009, Joshua responds:

Mr. G,

While I am sure you intentions are pure, for the sake of verification of your identity, might I ask what Matt’s last name is?

-Joshua

"Mr. G" claims that Matt's last name is Sullivan.

October 6, 2009, Joshua responds:

I’m sorry, but I think you may have a case of mistaken identity. Perhaps you were stationed in the same area and encountered a similar phenomenon, but we aren’t dealing with the same Matt. If you have access to any, feel free to search your records for a Matt Selby. It was my understanding that everyone else in Matt’s squad was killed in the bombing.

-Joshua

"Mr. G" claims to have lied about the last name on purpose because he thought it was too personal for the internet.

October 8, 2009, Joshua responds:

This is the internet. You can find information about anyone fairly easily if they really want to. A few people here know my last name because they looked up my Facebook with my email before I changed my profile to be private. Odds are they could also figure out to look in my friends and you could narrow down Logan and Matt’s names fairly quickly.

Your logic on how we’re talking about the same person confounds me by it not being there at all. Please, by all means, you can continue the search for whatever answers you seek, but if you honestly believe you knew Matt, I’m thinking you’re delusional. Perhaps that’s a clue for you on your search for answers. But please don’t act like you were all buddy buddy with a dead friend of mine. I’m not going to start censoring comments or anything like that, but at least realize you’re being disrespectful.

October 4, 2009, Ian responds:

Dav, since it seems you will be getting the journal, and we are all involved in this, I must ask: Could you record opening the envelope? Every detail helps in discovering what the hell is going on.

October 4, 2009, MarieDarling comments:

Joshua, I hope getting rid of the notebook ends your troubles and you can get back to life as normal.

October 4, 2009, Ash comments:

I have a theory… I think whatever this ‘Slender Man’ is, he is a virus of sorts. The notes and drawings that your friend wrote had a horrifying affect on him, and now it’s affecting you, second hand. The same thing to what’s happening to J who’s posting the Marble Hornets videos. His friend Alex seems to have slowly degraded, and now J is showing signs of illness.

This thing is a virus, corrupting whatever it comes near.

October 5, 2009, TheNightmareComplex responds:

Virus aren’t designed to corrupt, I’m afraid, they’re designed to destroy and breed. Their only function if to multiply. I’m afraid Slender Man is more like a Cancer than anything. And that’s far more terrifying.

October 5, 2009, Lifegospel responds:

Cancer causes the immune system to attack itself, while the cancerous cells multiply, I think that as long as we’re on medical metaphors, Slender Man is more autoimmune. The body starts attacking itself, as Matt, Alex and Logan did.

October 5, 2009, Ash responds:

As long as we’re one-upping each other on the medical metaphors… ;)

He’s like the spiritual black death.

October 5, 2009, Krathar responds:

Destroying what left about the Slender Man wouldn’t help much. It would be better to solve it. But I think solving it would need a few cases similar to what happened to Logan. I also not saying that you should risk your life or anything. And yeah, I’m half believing the existence of Slender Man. Or anything that paranormal.

October 5, 2009, hnm comments:

Relieved that you decided against destroying the notebook. Something like this is far too important to simply be destroyed.

October 5, 2009, Joshua responds:

Wasn’t really a choice. I couldn’t.

-Joshua

In response to another gamejack:

October 5, 2009, TheNightmareComplex comments:

Wow, not only is Dr. P.T. Madd a gamejacker, he’s a bad one; His pictures are straight off of Something Awful.

Nice try, jerk.

October 5, 2009, Joshua responds:

What game?

-Joshua

October 5, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

You don’t want to know.

Madd, if you really wanted to pass yourself off as real, you would at least do some historical research and remind yourself that Innsmouth was effectively destroyed in police action over sixty years ago.

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

The Reward

October 6, 2009

Knowing is knowing is knowing is knowing.

Light flickers as hope bickers as the tree grows quicker as your path becomes slicker as you can hear him snicker as if drunk by liquor you’ll just get sicker.

Contact.

Where are you.

Perhaps you can help.

The Earth shifts.

The earth shifts.

Time shifts.

Reality shifts.

And he just.

Doesn’t.

Care.

Posted in RESULTS OF REGRET

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Another Note from Joshua

October 6, 2009

AUTHOR: JOSHUA

Logan. Call me. You know my number.

As a note to everyone else: It is clear that Logan, wherever he is, still has access to the internet and this blog, or at least he does intermittently. For the sake of clarification, I’ll start every post of mine with “AUTHOR: JOSHUA,” and will go back and edit my previous ones as well.

Also, a quick update while I’m at it: I also feel like I owe you an explanation on what happened to Logan, or at least, as much as I know. When no one had heard from him for two weeks, I finally went over to his apartment, and what I found was… Interesting.

The key that he usually had hidden underneath a false rock in the garden wasn’t there, so after some convincing I got the super to let me in. The entire apartment seemed like it had been overturned, with two exceptions. The first was that the refrigerator seemed untouched, which I can only assume is because it’s so fucking heavy, and the second was his bedroom. The bed was off of its frame, books were thrown from shelves, there was a hole that appeared to have been punched into the wall; but his desk was immaculate. It was completely clean, aside from the notebook, laying dead center, a knife and a set of colored pens beside it.

And… that’s about it. We immediately called the police, who swooped in and inspected it. I haven’t heard of anything new other than that they couldn’t find a single fingerprint that didn’t belong to Logan or belonged to me and had been created when I entered. But that claim in itself makes me suspicious. There should be other fingerprints. He had people over all of the time. My fingerprints should be all over the place, not just where I touched when I went into his apartment that day. Our other friends’ fingerprints should be everywhere.

That’s all there was to it. He was gone without a trace, leaving only a wrecked apartment and that notebook in his wake.

Posted in Results of Choice

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October 6, 2009, lifegospel comments:

Oh, Thank god, we thought you went insane as well.

Glad to know you’re OK.

October 6, 2009, TheNightmareComplex comments:

Logan may be on the run. Using libraries and internet cafe’s, whatsuch. Have you gotten any access to his home? Have the police been able to search it and find anything of interest? It might be best if you could get a look around his room, for anything conclusive.

October 6, 2009, Ash comments:

Strange.

For now, my theory is that he trashed the place himself out of rage or frustration. What frustration that might have caused it, we don’t know yet.

I’d like to see whoever gets the notebook look for answers in it.

October 6, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

Doubtless, I shall look very closely for signs or messages that might further enlighten us as to Logan’s motives for his chaos. Perhaps I shall make a video to share with you regarding my finds, in case further opinions will be of assistance.

~Dav Flamerock

October 6, 2009, Ash comments:

Second, can you get access to his computer? You can check the browser history to see if he went home to use his computer.

October 6, 2009, Joshua responds:

His laptop was gone when we got there. I guess it’s a fair assumption that that is how he has been able to occasionally post here. It’s also a shame since I’d be somewhat interested in getting the contact information for Dr. M and Dr. W. Maybe it’s for the best though.
-Joshua

October 8, 2009, Joshua comments:

Ideas attempted:

1. Bank account – Even though I’m pretty sure this is a felony, I’m hoping there’s no harm in admitting I tried to break into it since I failed?

Then again, by that logic, attempted murder wouldn’t be a crime.

Anyhow, I couldn’t make any headway.

2. Email – No dice after guessing some things for awhile.

Will try #2 again and also think of places Logan could be with an internet connection after I manage to get some sleep.

-Joshua

October 8, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

Joshua, unless there is another Josh A out there sending my friend mail, he has received your package. I’m driving up to Maine tomorrow anyway, so I’ll pick it up then. For those of you who are curious to see the journal, I shall make sure I am filming when I open the package. Perhaps you would be so kind as to make a new blog post with my video when I upload it to youtube?

Thank you for sending the notebook,

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

October 8, 2009, Joshua responds:

Dav,

I’m planning on stopping using this blog fairly soon. I can only hope Logan may continue to occasionally use it, since as long as he’s making posts, it means he’s still out there. If you give me a link to a site/blog/YouTube account or something I could make sure it’s prominently displayed here for when I stop posting.
-Joshua

The Notebook

October 9, 2009

For the sake of those interested actually seeing this, here’s Dav’s video of looking through the notebook:

Part 1

Part 2

Posted in Results of Choice

Journal of Matthew Selby

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October 10, 2009, TheNightmareComplex comments:

Intriguing.

Joshua, as of now, the only thing left barring protecting yourself, is to keep us posted should Logan ever call you, as you requested.

Sorry I didn’t include this, but a page WAS missing from the notebook. Could you, perhaps, find it in Logan’s pigstye of an apartment?

October 14, 2009, Joshua responds:

I’m not sure what matters could possibly be taken to protect myself.

Should I get a gun?

Matt was in Iraq, with a squad all of which were carrying exponentially larger weapons than I could ever acquire on my own. I really don’t think that’d help.

My way of protecting myself is to just be as uninvolved as I can. But as I mentioned, there is a certain magnetism that plays into all of this, so I can’t help but check back here every now and then.

As for the page, I didn’t see it in the apartment, and I honestly don’t even know if his stuff is there or it got thrown out by the building owner or what… I’ll think about at least calling the owner to see whether or not I could stop by.

-Joshua

October 11, 2009, Marshall Willbuoy comments:

Now you’ve gotten rid of the notebook, are you still going to try and find Logan?

October 14, 2009, Joshua responds:

I’ll do my best, but both myself and the police really don’t have any leads to go off of… I just have to hope he’ll leave a hint on the blog that I can follow up on. Maybe there was something contained in the notebook, but I’ve vowed not to even watch through that entire video due to an irrational yet pervasive fear of getting consumed by it.

-Joshua

October 12, 2009, Philip comments:

Joshua, can you please comment on the graphite marks on the envelope? It looks like you may have gotten in a struggle on the way to delivering the package. Did some sort of incident happen?

October 14, 2009, Joshua responds:

I quickly scanned the video to see what you’re talking about, and whoever made those marks made them after I had dropped the envelope off at the post office. Anyone happen to know how clean the average mail sorter’s hands are?

-Joshua

October 12, 2009, Jason comments:

I think Joshua was writing in the notebook. Thus the streaks on the envelope from his hand

October 14, 2009, Joshua responds:

Choose to believe me or not, but I didn’t even open the notebook.

I had seen it briefly when I was hanging out with Logan when he had just recently seen it, so I recall some of what was in it, but for a number of reasons I have already mentioned, I didn’t want to fall prey to whatever trance it seems to invoke.

-Joshua

October 16, 2009, R. Erbs responds:

There are 3 distinct writings in the notebook. One is Matt’s; he wrote mainly in pencil. One is Logan’s; he wrote messily in different color pens. And one is unidentified; the small/tidy handwriting in ink on some of the pages. But that handwriting doesn’t seem to be similar to Joshua’s handwriting on the note he sent Dav. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t Joshua, but it doesn’t seem likely. (And either way, Joshua would have been writing in ink, not in pencil that he could have smudged on the outside of the envelope.)

October 16, 2009, Eden comments:

There was that page with the green writing on it that said “YGGDRASIL.” Being that it was the big tree thing from Norse mythology, and the apparent relevance of the tree in that notebook, I think that it’s something important to point out.

October 18, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

To follow this up, I will point out that in many places there are references to ash, and Yggdrasil is a tree of ash. In fact, I have the page in question open next to me, where it says Yggdrasil shivers, The ash is as it stands, The old tree GROWS and the giant slips free.

~Dav Flamerock

Miskatonic University

October 20, 2009, 8Bit Goodness comments:

Yggdrasil is the world tree in Norse mythos. Around it exist nine worlds. Believed to be that after Ragnarok, Two survivors would live in Yggdrasil. If I got anything wrong please let me know. I hope that helped.

October 18, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

A few details have me worried–Logan living on Ash Tree Lane (Yggdrasil), the frightening resemblance of the scratches on the cover to something too dangerous to discuss on these unreliable networks, and the two missing pages being the most important points.

Joshua, you made the right choice to rid yourself of this book.

Dav Flamerock was asked how he is attending Miskatonic University if it does not exist:

October 27, 2009, Dav Flamerock comments:

Without going into too much detail;

I must have posted this on my youtube video, not here, but the reason Miskatonic has no web presence is because we work exclusively on Internet-2, so none of our webwork can be accessed on Internet-1 (what we are using now). I think it’s silly to be completely invisible on this network, but the esoteric have their reasons and I’m not exactly in any position to argue. As for why Miskatonic only shows up as a fictional school, such is an unfortunate side effect of the school’s desire to stay obscure. Lovecraft, as you mentioned, went there and wrote about it, and that was the first really public view to the school. As I’m sure you know, the first story sticks, and so now everyone knows it as “that school that Lovecraft wrote about.” Oh well, I’m not going to make a big deal about that either–it actually works rather well for us.

Dr. Upham is not whom I was referencing, I was referencing Dr. Ukrytywicz (and you wondered why I shortened his name). You won’t find him on the internet much, because he’s a bit secretive himself, but perhaps someone knows of him.

I don’t understand why people keep invoking the Marble Hornets entries here, due to their dissociation, but I have no power to stop you from doing so.

Good day, and have a Happy Halloween!

~Dav Flamerock

The players found that the word "CONTACT" in the notebook seemed to be leading to a phone number made of the Roman numerals. Dav Flamerock interprets the number as 1-518-631-5813 and receives a message: "Hey, this is Joshua. Sorry I missed your call, but leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can. Thanks. Take care."

KEY

November 2, 2009

you HAve come upon a door.

stop trying the haNDle if it’S not working.

if A dooR is locked, surEly you must first find THE KEY?

Posted in RESULTS OF THE TREES

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Because of the clock hands pointing to 11:11 in the notebook, the players eventually agreed that they had to call the phone number on November 11th at 2:37 PM, the time specified by Logan's watch in the first post.

Phone

November 4, 2009

AUTHOR: JOSHUA

Do you have any idea how sad it is when your only comforts from a friend are ramblings that don’t make an ounce of sense?

Someone has informed me that a phone number of mine was in the notebook. The number in question was an old Pay-As-You-Go phone that I had that ran out of credit, but I still had the phone (although for the life of me I cannot find it). I tried calling it and, well, that’s not my voice. That’s Logan’s. I left him a message so here’s to hoping that I’ll actually hear back from him now that I seem to have a way to contact him.

But why use my name?

Posted in Results of the Unknown

Laughter

November 4, 2009

I can hear the laughter.

Through this endless night and after.

I can hear the singing.

Chorus, verse, and refrain ringing.

Posted in Results of Choice

ALMOST TIME?

November 10, 2009

Posted in RESULTS OF THE TREES

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The voicemail reportedly changed to "I have found my answer. In time, I believe you will too." The correct answer to the riddle was "What time is it?"

Found. You.

November 14, 2009

HIM

Posted in Results of Fate

+ Nine Truly Conscious Beings

Journal of Logan Renault

Untitled 1

December 4, 2009

HE dIGs and digs and digs and digs and digs and digs and Digs and digs and digs

the Rain pours and pours and pours and pours and pours and pours and pours and pours and pours

i am crumbling joshUA

staring at the world through this foggy glass

nothing can be [un]made while I lean upon this windowSILL

Posted in RESULTS OF REGRET, RESULTS OF THE TREES

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Game Over

January 6, 2010

Posted in Results of Choice, Results of Fate

Searching

January 8, 2010

AUTHOR: JOSHUA

As a few of you no doubt noticed, since I received some emails in concern, I’ve been doing my best to stay as uninvolved from these matters as possible.

Logan rather sternly told me that I should not visit this website, I should not contact him, and I should try to not even think of him. So… Well, I did. But there have been some rather extenuating circumstances that have changed that.

Many of you here have been genuinely concerned about Logan and myself, and honestly, in this confusing, nonsensical, and dare I say supernatural series of events, it has been a source of comfort to know that there are people out there who cared and believed in what was occurring. Because of that, I feel I owe it to you all to at least update you on what has happened.

Two days ago, at about noon, I found this in my mailbox:

Even though I cannot just flat out recognize Logan’s handwriting, I didn’t think it was much of a stretch to assume this was from him. I decided to finally take a look here later that night and saw that he had since been posting every now and then, but most importantly was the picture posted on Wednesday. I knew exactly where that place was, and it wasn’t far from my house. I immediately called the police and told them that he might be in that area and resisted all temptation to go there myself.

Yesterday I received a phone call that they found his body nearby. He didn’t have any ID on him so they’re not sure, but his clothes are the same as what he was wearing in the photo. The only thing he had in him was a smartphone, which could explain how he posted the picture, but it had been smashed to pieces in some sort of struggle. They were still trying to determine cause of death, but the only thing they said to me that stood out at this point was that he was blind in his left eye, which I can’t possibly see as being a coincidence given previous pictures he’s posted.

I didn’t sleep at all last night, and this morning I received the call that they’d like me to come ID the body. At this point, I don’t see how it could be anyone else, but I promise that as soon as I get home I’ll post again to let you all know, since I feel I owe you that much. I’m leaving to drive to the police station now. Come to think of it, I haven’t ridden my motorcycle since I broke my arm, but as anyone that rides could tell you, it’s a fairly relaxing activity, so at least it might help me clear my head. I’ll post as soon as I get back… I don’t see how this could take more than an hour or two.

Posted in Results of Choice, Results of Fate, Results of the Unknown

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These remaining comments were left on the blog after its abrupt conclusion. None of them could account for what happened, but they provide a sort of closure by showing what the readers think.

But do they think?

January 8, 2010, Seasonal Soldier comments:

My condolences for what happened. Though I did not know Logan before he started to lose his mind (please excuse me if you take offense to this) I can say at least that he seemed like a good person from the posts that he did. Its hard to lose the friend, but I implore you to be on guard. This doesn’t seem like the normal work of the Slender Man, first killing Matt’s squad (that is, if the “official” story isn’t true) and leaving their bodies in the trees, and now killing Logan and leaving his body behind. Although some stories do talk of mutilated bodies left behind, most have them disappearing completely. What ever it is that is happening, it surely is strange even for a Slender Man case.

-SS

P.S. Stay Safe

…. I might have made a mistake there….

I was doubting my self a little and started reading up on Slender Man again. There has actually been quite a few cases of people being killed, mostly adults. I don’t know if you can really consider it strange then… sorry about that…

Still, please be careful all the same.

-SS

January 8, 2010, Observer comments:

My condolences. I have been silently following this story for a while, and I would like to at this point weigh in and note that among the many instances recently appearing regarding our mysterious Slender Man (MarbleHornets, Slender Hunter, and so on…), this is the first to have a definite (and not simply ambiguous) death come of it (or at least it would seem). This is beginning to become serious and incredibly frightening. I urge you to be safe… Although I’m sure that at this point you’re trying your best.

January 8, 2010, Dylan comments:

Logan is no longer suffering.

January 9, 2010, Mato comments:

He mentioned he was going to ride his motorcycle to where Logan’s cadaver is being kept, I can only hope that something similar to before hasn’t happened. Joshua if you get the chance to read these comments I recommend continuing to keep in touch with us, it could help take your mind off of things.

I’m a little worried about myself actually, ever since early December I’ve been looking into this Slenderman thing heavily. Been sick since Christmas, everything but the terrible coughing has gone away. Not seen anything strange, yet, though me being far from alone nearly 100% of the time may have something to do with that.

But as we’ve seen from other incidents, SM doesn’t seem to have any trouble toying with people that stick in groups.

January 9, 2010, R. Erbs comments:

Joshua, you’ve been gone a while since this post, so I hope you’re okay. I’m really sorry to hear about Logan.

January 12, 2010, morscata12 comments on UnFiction forums:

Sad to see this story ending! This was quite a lot of fun - my hat's off to the PM for giving us such an eerie story. I imagined the game cycling through dozens of iterations of "investigate SM -> leave trail for friend -> SM takes you away -> friend investigates SM -> leaves trail…" Compared to what I had anticipated, I much prefer jafool's three-stage story:

Stage 1 - Matt is attacked by SM, leaving maddening knowledge that drives him to suicide.

Stage 2 - Matt passes it to Logan, who becomes obsessed and disappears.

Stage 3 - Joshua watches Logan's obsession devolve into death, and gets killed in the wake of his own investigation.

This story arc plays out as a nice investigation into the Slender Man: He takes his victims through madness, obsession, and direct attacks.

I am curious to find out the intent about some of the background details revealed through puzzles/notebooks: Yggdrasil in particular. It's interesting to think SM is not killing his victims, but is instead taking them to another dimension for purposes we can't imagine. Was that the intent of the notebooks, or am I misinterpreting the clues?

March 27, 2010, Zedek comments:

As the curtains close so many from the audience try to hold it open. The Act is done, it is time to sleep and await for a chance to tell our story.

November 18, 2010, Lewis comments:

This is the end of the story. In a few months, it will be a year since anybody has posted on this blog.

Matt is dead.

Logan is dead.

Joshua is dead.

But when one story is over, a new one begins.

January 15, 2011, NotSoBright comments:

Norse myth 101.

Oden hung himself from the world tree for 9 days.

as a sacrifice , to himself.

his reward was knowledge.

9 charms (or invocations)

he gave up his eye for wisdom.

after hanging himself for 9 days he returned to life as the all father.

Logan, would apear to see himself as odin. sacrificing himself for everyone elses sake, hence the covering of the left eye in his photo’s

the date and time. are the year of ragnorok.

the nine “consious people” represent the 9 worlds.

the slender man is either the giant under the world tree.

or the tree itself.

the tree of knowledge,

of existance,

of the world,

of death.

March 25, 2011, der ritter comments:

It is but a noise, a shadow, a warning. To see it is to deserve it. Follow the angel of death to the ark. Only the chosen shall live. The Waters of God will engulf sin. The world is his playground but everything answers to something. That something is close, rounding the forgotten planet. Repentence is aimed at something false. Humanity has failed, follow him to the ark. His origin will be the last place for salvation.

May 16, 2011, Can'tKeepUp comments:

Sometimes there are things we can’t explain, things that don’t make sense to us. It’s best not to get involved with these things but for those of you who do…stop before it’s too late.

July 10, 2011, ThroughALookingGlass comments:

It’s been over two years now. I don’t think they’re coming back.

Something bad must have happened, I think they’re gone.

I never really met any of these guys, but I understand what it is they were dealing with. After waiting for two years and recieving no updates, I’m giving up on waiting.

For the past couple of years I’ve been compiling some research and I’ve had a few close encounters of my own. I’m not going to just destroy all of the evidence and spend the rest of my life in fear, I’ll find out what happened to these two by myself. If some Monster comes after me, so be it. I’m done with all these disappearances and unsolved mysteries.

I’ll finish this.

August 28, 2011, Tatiana comments:

Could yggdrasil be connected to the slenderman because of its branches surrounding the world, signifying that slenderman will envelope the whole world with its ever-growing arms? And since the great world tree is pretty the root of everything, slenderman would be the master of this/these world(s)?

September 1, 2011, RJL comments:

I’m pretty sure Odin didn’t give up his eye to Yggdrasil, but to Mimirs spring. But it was his left eye and it was in return for knowledge, which is what Logan’s been looking for, knowledge of slender man.

That’s not to say that Odin doesn’t have connections with Yggdrasil, though. He was hung from it for nine days and pierced with a spear. If Logan’s already drawing up parallels with the experiences of Odin, that can’t mean good things.

July 8, 2012, Headpiece Filled With Straw comments:

I know that I hung on a windy tree

nine long nights,

wounded with a spear, dedicated to Odin,

myself to myself,

on that tree of which no man knows

from where its roots run.

Yeah sorry about this it’s just the comments about the Yggdrasil combined with the mention of Logan being blind in his left eye reminded me of Odin who removed one of his eyes. So naturally this stanza featuring both Odin and the Yggdrasil came to mind and I couldn’t resist posting it.

January 31, 2013, Noxifer comments:

What begins, ends.

And with end comes a new beginning.

Life is just a highway to death.

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The original blog can be found here. Its author eventually went onto UnFiction forums under the username "Knolly", and had this to say about the ending:

This entire "reveal" was something I was actually fairly hesitant to do, simply because I obviously would be expanding slenderman lore beyond what is already known. However, the truth is you really can't have that interesting of a game going on for that long based on the established slenderman lore, so I decided to take the plunge. Some people might like it, some might hate it, but you can't win 'em all.

The second notebook was honestly not that full of riddles. Looking back, I have a feeling you all may have been overthinking it a bit. As I said, I believe that some of this was a failure on my part as a storyteller, but perhaps if you now know what it means it might help make sense of it all.

Have you ever wondered if everyone else actually thinks and feels things like you do? One of the great mysteries of life is that you actually have no way to prove that everyone else is as conscious as you simply because it's impossible to verify. So thus we come to the idea of Yggdrasil, the world tree, and its nine worlds.

The idea is that at any point in time, there are only nine truly conscious beings/people. Because most of the population is equivalent of a robot, eight of these conscious being live rather brilliant and wondrous, yet ultimately short lives. This is because the ninth being is Slenderman, who is ultimately responsible for killing these people and therefore "resetting" the worlds. He is the only way that these people can be killed (ie the car crash), and thus one day, everyone who is truly conscious will have to face him.

The "unknown" notebook pages were:
V - This is meant as a "wild card."
VII - The implication here, which I clearly failed at explaining, was that Matt was one of the nine, and thus when he died, a new person was born to replace him.
The point of the "wild card" is that I sent out a number of pages to people, but I obviously couldn't send one to everyone playing the game. Thus, you, the reader, obviously believe yourself to be a conscious being, so that means that the "V" page must be for you, right?

When slenderman is hunting one of the nine, he will not stop until he finishes them off. First with Matt, and then Logan. Logan mentioned how he knew Joshua would be next and apologized, since his death meant Joshua would immediately be in danger.

And thus you, the player, are also one of the nine, whether you received a page from Logan, or if you know that the "V" page belongs to you. So now, knowing that, I would like to repeat the last words written in the second journal:

ALWAYS TURN AROUND.

You just might be next.

ig justanotherfool

Slender Man Arkive

Lakes In Stillness will Take Every life of the Night

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LEAVE IT JOSH.

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KEY

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ALMOST TIME?

Found. You.

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